Dear Lord, when I am warmed, by Your Son, and the beauty of life, please hear my silent praises of
inner-peace and joy,
Dear Lord, when the night becomes dark, and I am alone, with only You, please enjoy my
thoughts, and hear my prayers,
Dear Lord, when I am lost in turmoil and grief, and wary of faith, please soothe my cries, hear my
pleas, and calm my soul,
Dear Lord, when I am overwhelmed with sadness, anger or terror, please hold my soul, and spend
these fearful moments with me, You are the One, I need most to guide me,
Dear Lord, when I feel joy, bliss and ecstacy, please spend these wonderful moments with me,
You are the One, I most want to spend them with.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
#128.....Life Can Be Torturous To Me
I have been feeling rather confused lately. I have had high anxiety, fear, depression. I have been hearing sounds, that just aren't real. I panic when I have audio halluncinations. I feel immence fear, becase I feel that my mind is fucking with me. Why wasn't I born with a healthy mind, Lord?
If you have been following this blog, you probably know about the homocidal, pedophile. father, that I used to have. I keep having nightmares about him, his wife, and his other kids. So I end up thinking of them a lot, lately. I miss my half-siblings so much. My father can rot in Hell. So can his wife, My stepmother, stayed with him, risking her own children, and me, even though she knew he is a pedophile. She is no better than a pervert. She is protecting a pedophile.
Still, I wish that I could have had a wonderful father. A father who didn't beat me, emotionally abuse me, sexually molest me. I mourn for the father that I never had.
And of course I'd love to see my half-brother and half-sister, again, though my hopes are dismal.
My heart broke when my father wouldn't allow us contact with eachother, anymore. I mourned hard. It was like my half-siblings had died. And it hurt, that my father threw me away like a piece of trash, even though he was a terrible father.
Please Lord, help me come to some peace of mind. Life can be torturous to me.
If you have been following this blog, you probably know about the homocidal, pedophile. father, that I used to have. I keep having nightmares about him, his wife, and his other kids. So I end up thinking of them a lot, lately. I miss my half-siblings so much. My father can rot in Hell. So can his wife, My stepmother, stayed with him, risking her own children, and me, even though she knew he is a pedophile. She is no better than a pervert. She is protecting a pedophile.
Still, I wish that I could have had a wonderful father. A father who didn't beat me, emotionally abuse me, sexually molest me. I mourn for the father that I never had.
And of course I'd love to see my half-brother and half-sister, again, though my hopes are dismal.
My heart broke when my father wouldn't allow us contact with eachother, anymore. I mourned hard. It was like my half-siblings had died. And it hurt, that my father threw me away like a piece of trash, even though he was a terrible father.
Please Lord, help me come to some peace of mind. Life can be torturous to me.
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