Well, I must be honest, for several days after Christmas & New Year's, I fell apart again.
     I made a mistake and hurt my husband.  I did not mean to hurt him.  I was in a bad place, emotionally, and did the wrong thing.
     My husband and I have talked about it, and he is no longer angry with me and he forgives me, but I am having a hard time forgiving myself. I hated myself for hurting my husband.  I didn't feel that I deserved his love anymore.  I was so upset at myself, that I considered suicide.
      Fortunately, I was able to talk to both my Therapist and my Pastor, and they both told me the same thing.  They told me that I was a good person who made a bad mistake and I was too hard on myself, that I need to forgive myself.
      My depression is lifting, Thank God.  I am also sad because I had to say goodbye to an old friend.
      But I am hopeful, that things will get better.