#158.....Trying To Put It All Together

     I was hospitalized, for the third time this year, just 2 weeks ago.   My second kidney infection in 4 months.   My physician is not happy.   I can only say, that, I am so happy to be alive.  In December, 2017, I developed  Pneumonia.   In January, 2018, I developed Diabetic Ketoacidosis, in July 2018, I developed a Kidney Infection, and in November 2018, another Kidney Infection.  All of these times,  I was so physically sick, that I felt like I was dying.
      It has been such a difficult year.  At times, I feel so grateful to have survived these illnesses, but at times, I am so damn depressed, so sad, so scared.
     The depression, anxiety, hallucinations, and physical illnesses have done a real number on my soul.   I often feel like I am fading away.  And my wonderful husband has to live with these situations.
      To all of my friends, who suffer from mental illness, I know that you know where I am coming from.  You are all in my prayers.