I, had been travelling through life, OK,.. Or,.It least, that is what I had told myself, lately.
Mental illness and PTSD, have fooled me many, times. I didn't know that things were going wrong. I felt somewhat numb.
It was my husband, who told me, that I was going through psychiatric discomfort, recently. My husband is amazing. He can pick up my behaviors amd tics, right away, and know, that I am going through HELL..
Still, I cannot help, feeling scared, sometimes terrified.
Monday, March 14, 2016
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
#140...Will The Anger Within Me Ever Die?
I am mostly easy going, kind, gentle, intelligent. But within me, there is a lot of anxiety, a lot of heartbreak, a lot of sorrow, a lot of frustration, and a lot of anger.
I have mentioned this, at points in this blog, that my father abused me, and my half sister and half brother, in a very sick way.
In my late teens, I felt compelled to help my half sister, and I told her what happened to me. My father found out and cut off all contact that I had with my half siblings.
I think that the loss of my half siblings was worse than the abuse, that I endured, at my father's hands. It has been over 30 years since I have had a relationship with them.
Last, I heard, my half brother , said that my claims were "bullshit". My half sister tried writing to me, until our father told her " that she would never see her mother again, if she kept writing to me".
I don't have any other siblings. How do I resolve this heartbreak?
I thought that I was doing alright, but my husband knows me very well, and told me, that I was having problems, that I was thinking of my father and my half siblings a lot.
I have mentioned this, at points in this blog, that my father abused me, and my half sister and half brother, in a very sick way.
In my late teens, I felt compelled to help my half sister, and I told her what happened to me. My father found out and cut off all contact that I had with my half siblings.
I think that the loss of my half siblings was worse than the abuse, that I endured, at my father's hands. It has been over 30 years since I have had a relationship with them.
Last, I heard, my half brother , said that my claims were "bullshit". My half sister tried writing to me, until our father told her " that she would never see her mother again, if she kept writing to me".
I don't have any other siblings. How do I resolve this heartbreak?
I thought that I was doing alright, but my husband knows me very well, and told me, that I was having problems, that I was thinking of my father and my half siblings a lot.
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