It has been  weeks and weeks since my last blog entry.  My entries have been slowing down as my life triumphantly improves.  I'm still not sure how I feel about this.  I'd like to have the motivation to write more often, but I'm unsure what to write about, now that I am not writing about my inner pain.  I could start to write more about happiness, I suppose, but it's all so new to me.  I'm still not quite sure what to say.
    I am enjoying my happy life, but I'm afraid that it will disappear.  Let's face it, Schizoaffective Disorder is chronic and my chances of relapsing are very high. But I'm trying to stay positive.              
   Of course, there were times in the past when I felt happy, but these times were short-lived in comparison to now.  My present condition of happiness has been coasting along for quite a few months now.  No, these precious months have not been perfect, there were traumas and trials during them. But I survived them, without wanting to give up on life and bounced back.
    I have prayed and prayed to our sweet Lord, for a happy existence like this.  But I never dreamed that it would ever really happen.  It was, however, like climbing a huge mountain.  I had to work hard for decades through medication changes, psychotherapy, support groups, hospitalizations, and evicting unhealthy relationships with friends and family members from my life.           
     I was also extremely blessed to have some family and friends pray for me during my last serious bout of Depression.  I really believe that their prayers had an effect on me.
     There are presently, no adequate words to describe my thankfulness for this feeling within me. I must learn to fully embrace it and not fear my future.
     I will try to give more frequent updates in the future for those who read my blog.  If there is a topic that you would like me to discuss, please feel free to leave comments.  In the meantime, I will continue joyously coasting along in happiness.

     I am so, so very thankful that I didn't get caught too deeply in middle of Hurricane Sandy. God Bless the people and animals  that are suffering or have died
     I live near Boston, Massachusetts, but I was in Williamsburg, Virginia at the time.  It was raw, cold, rainy, and windy. I was confined to our hotel room during the days, because everything was closed.  But our room was spacious, comfortable, warm, and had working electricity, which meant, cable TV.  I was a bit stir crazy and anxious because I was in a strange place, in a hurricane, but I coped well, and tried to relax as much as I could.  Frank, my husband, was attending a conference, so I was alone all day.  That was hard for me.  Part of me is afraid of being alone for lengthy amounts of time.  But I didn't panic.
    What I really wanted to do was venture into Colonial Williamsburg, on a sight-seeing exploration, but it was mostly closed.  It would have been a BIG step for me, to go far away, from home and explore some new place on my own.  I'd love to achieve that type of confidence. I've traveled in  buses, subways, trains, but never by myself in a strange city, yet I do it all the time in Boston.  And I've been flying on airplanes by myself since I was six years old.  But crowds, chaos, and big places overwhelm me.  I think it got worse when my Schizoaffective Disorder peaked.  Because of this, I almost never go to Walmart, either, lol.
     I'm very happy to be home now, safe and cozy in our apartment, with Julie Catkins, my deaf feline child, and my wonderful husband.  There really is, no place like home.