Last night I had to make one of life's most difficult decisions.  I had to have my beloved cat, Rudy Catkins put to sleep.  He was 17 years old, and weighed only 7 pounds...in his prime he weighed 17 pounds.  Rudy had a swollen liver, severely irregular heartbeat and arthritis. But he was blessed that he had had a wonderful life with us, and blessed because I was able to make this hard decision for him, to end his suffering.  And I was blessed that I now have the strength to go on in life, despite the trauma involved.  Just five months ago, I had been in the hospital, fighting for the will to live.  If Rudy had died five months ago, I would have been shattered beyond repair, I don't know if I would have survived.  At this point in my life, I have many tears for my Rudy and I miss him terribly, but I know that I made the right decision and I can go on.  I will hold him in my heart forever.