I am happy to report, that I am doing much better, since my last blog entry.  It took an increase in Abilify, a drug that works as an anti-psychotic, and also gives a boost to anti-depressants, and 6 days home from work, but today went smoothly.
      Today, was my first day back to work, and I was nervous going back, but it went well.  The people I work with were all very supportive of me, and I did not feel overwhelmed by my work.  I got a good amount of work done, and I was pleased by my performance.
     On the days, that I feel good, it feels like a God-given miracle.  I am happy to go to work, to interact with people, to be with those that I love.  I feel so thankful on these so-called "normal" days.  I feel like a little kid at Disneyworld on my happy days.  And I wonder if other people feel the same way, if healthy people have as much appreciation for ordinary days, as I do.
      The bad days are tough to live with.  Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, really shakes up your life with nightmares, flashbacks, recurring horrifying memories, etc.  Scizoaffective Disorder gives you a mood disorder, either Depression, or Bi-Polar Disorder, with Schizophrenic-type symptoms, like delusions, paranoia, hallucinations, etc.
       I, am, however getting stronger as the years go by.  I've been in psychotherapy and have been on medication for 26 years.  It's taken a long time to find the right medications.  And a long time to heal the trauma in my soul.
       But today, I have no complaints.  Today, I am just thankful.