After my last blog entry, I thought that I was doing better, but it only lasted a few days.   I saw my psychiatrist on January 14, because I felt anxious.  She lowered one mild anti-anxiety medication dosage, because I didn't feel that it was working, and she prescribed me a stronger tranquilizer.  But 2 days later, I felt depressed.  I didn't want to go to work, my job felt too overwhelming, which made no sense because I have a non-challenging job, and I love to work.
I was irritable, sleeping more, and feeling unlike myself.
     Finally yesterday, I crashed hard.  I started to cry at work, so I went to the ladies room thinking I would cry it out and go back to work.  But instead, I could not stop crying and someone must have heard me.  Before I knew it, I was surrounded by people, having to explain that I was very depressed.
     The managers and staff were supportive, thank God.  My co-worker and friend drove me home.  My boss had told me that if I needed time off, it was OK.  I was so thankful for their kindness, but also embaressed to have other people see me break down.
      I talked to my psychiatrist this morning, and she is increasing one of my anti-depressants, and if that doesn't work she will increase one of my other medications.  But she is confident that I will feel better soon and should be able to return to work next Monday.