Wednesday, October 17, 2012

     It has been over 3 weeks, since my last blog entry.....the time just rushes by.  So I wanted to give an update.
     At this point in my life, I am doing very well.  I feel happy, not depressed, which was rare for me.  It is such a great gift to feel happy and content, one of the best feelings in the world.
      I don't feel paranoid, like I had last winter, when I was fearful that I would be murdered in my home, by a stranger.  I can't begin to tell you how wonderful peace of mind is.
      I stopped hearing strange music and sounds that weren't really there.   I used to feel really scared when this used to happen and I would question my sanity.
      I don't feel suicidal anymore, now I really want to live and be happy. This is a true blessing.
      I still feel anxious sometimes, especially when I wake up in the morning, but it is not as severe as it used to be.  I still get overwhelmed in large stores, and crowds of people, but I can face both now.
     I think these changes came about for several reasons.  My medication was changed, and I'm still going through some medication changes, at this time.
      During my last hospitalization, I knew of at least 7 people who prayed for me, and I came out of the hospital in a pretty good state of mind.  I also had an epiphany, I think, after I came out of the hospital.  Basically my whole attitude suddenly changed, I decided that I would do everything in my power to be happy and to live a productive successful life.
      I started this blog, for people to see that living with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Schizoaffective Disorder doesn't have to mean the end of the world.  It's challenging as Hell, but it can be done, and its so rewarding.
     I'm not going to sugar-coat it, it is highly possible that I will relapse, but I have the strength now to climb out of that awful hole, and I think that as I learn to handle my illness and the problems in life, my relapses will be less frequent, and less severe.  Life just seems to get better and better everyday!  There really is hope!

3 comments :

  1. This brings a tear of joy to my eye. I am so thankful that you are truly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

    ReplyDelete
  2. These are inspiring words, Christine! I enjoy reading your blog posts. The light at the end of the tunnel is a very good thing! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are beautiful and strong,inside and out.

    ReplyDelete