I am back to work, after my vacation in The Berkshires.  But, I am full of anxiety.  My job, which is in a supermarket meat department, that I once loved so much, is starting to stress me out.
     We have a new manager, in our store, and her main goal, it seems, is to save the company money, even though she is cutting the employees' work hours.  The result is that work is not getting done because, we are under-staffed.  Yet somehow, this new manager expects all of the work, to get done.
      This week, my friend and co-worker, Bob, is on vacation.  And the other clerks have other full-time jobs.  So, I was the only meat clerk today.
       This morning before I went to work, I felt a lot of anxiety, and my chest felt tight.  When I got to work, and saw the workload, I wanted to walk out, and just go home.  I convinced myself to stay by telling myself, over and over, that it was just a 4 hour shift today.  But the work was endless, it seemed.  I was stressing, because I knew that I couldn't possibly get it all done.
       So, now, I'm wondering if it is almost time to move on occupationally.  I loved my job, and I have been there for 5 years, which is a long time for me.  My bosses and co-workers, have always been understanding, of my mental illness, and they have always granted me time off, whenever, I needed it.
        Things are changing at work, however, and I am very sensitive to changes.  I am not feeling comfortable there, at this point.
        I am confused, and saddened, because, I loved working there, but now, it's causing me to re-think the situation.  It's not so easy finding a job, and keeping a job, when you have PTSD, and a major mental illness.
I really don't want to have to find a new job, but I don't know else what to do.  I think that I will have to pray, on this.