Thursday, February 27, 2014

     I had an interesting morning, today.  I only got about 3 hours of sleep, last night, but I was on the 7:10 AM Commuterail this morning.  My destination was Boston.  Did I mention how freezing cold it was this morning?
     Once in Boston, I had a visit with my psychiatrist.  She said that I was doing very well, and did not make any medication changes.  I had been having anxiety attacks and flashbacks, just 2 weeks ago, but told her that now, I didn't think that I would need any tranquilizers.
     After that appointment, I had a session with my psychotherapist.  During this session, I discussed the possibility of pressing charges against my father for sexually abusing me 40 years ago, when I was just 6 years old.  My therapist and I, then discussed several scenarios that could take place.  In the end of the discussion, I realized that, because it was 4 decades ago, my chances of a successful prosecution were very low.  And I know that if I don't succeed at sending that pervert to jail, I will be devastated. I will feel that the judicial system failed me also. That experience could send me into a tailspin, emotionally.  It is a lot to think about.....
    In the near future, I will probably write more about my experiences with my father, and my feelings about him.  I will only sum him up in one word now:  MONSTER

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