One thing that I have realized, is that, I need to write more often.  And I need to write about even the ordinary moments in my life.
     I usually get up, out of bed, at between 3-5 AM.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I get up at stupid-o'clock.  Its because I have trouble sleeping, and I'm too restless to just lay in bed.
    At first, I make myself a cup of Starbucks coffee.  I check my e-mails, and read my Facebook, usually in silence, for the first half hour.  Once I have become more awake, I make another cup of coffee, and sometimes watch a bit of the news.  But, I have been escaping the television news ritual a lot more lately, because honestly, the news is depressing.
     Most mornings I put music on, looking through my iTunes account, picking out my favorite music, depending on my mood.  It could range from The Moody Blues, to Pearl Jam, to Cypress Hill....to anybody.  My landlord has severe hearing loss, so she has never been concerned about the stereo playing in the wee morning hours.
     Often, in the early, peaceful, uninterrupted, dawn hours, I will pray, for anyone I feel that needs it.  It is always an emotional experience for me, sometimes leading to tears, because I feel so humbled, that the Lord takes the time to listen to and answer my prayers.  I have felt a close connection to God, since I was a young child.
     My mother and I, talk by telephone, usually very early just about every day.  Even though my mother and I had a rough start, I am crazy about her.  My day feels a bit empty, until I hear from her.  She lives 2 states north of us, in rural Maine, with just her dog, so I worry about her if I don't hear from her.  My nature is a bit paranoid at times, and I have a tremendous fear of her dying
     At some point, I make myself a cup of hot chocolate, and when my husband wakes up, I make him a cup of coffee.  My deaf cat awakes at some point, and runs and scampers all over the house, delighting me.
     On work mornings, I shower & dress, take my medications, try to eat a bagel or toast, and arrive at work by 7 AM.
    On the weekends, we spend hours "couching it", drinking even more coffee, watching educational television, talking, listening to music.
    So, yes, I have PTSD, Panic Disorder, and Schizoaffective Disorder, but do you see how ordinary my life can be?