I have a friend, that I went to high school with. Although, I do not have any memory of him, from those days, almost 30 years ago, we met up 2 years ago, on Facebook.
One day, he posted, on Facebook, that his very young son was having hallucinations. I responded, with my own advice & experiences, as a survivor of both Schizoaffective Disorder and PTSD, and we have become like family, over the past 2 years.
Recently, my friend's 10 year old son was hospitalized after attempting to strangle his 9 year old sister. In the past year, he also tried to strangle his mother, who abused him, and has since, abandoned him.
This child, has over 10 different psychiatric diagnosis', and has the emotional development of a 2-5 year old child. He is a very sweet, intelligent child, but when he rages, it takes five adult police officers & EMT's to restrain him. And he is tiny for his age.
Last weekend, we drove up through the woods of NH, a total 4 hours drive, for my husband Frank & I, to bring my friend, to see his child, who was hospitalized up there.
It was a most difficult expedition, emotionally. What do you say to a 10 year old child who has tried to kill 2 of his family members?
His father showed me a letter that the child had written to him. It was a suicide note, a cry for help.
I told my little friend, that we all loved him very much and that he would have to work hard to get better. I told him that people like him and me, had an extra hard struggle in life, because we both had mental illnesses and PTSD, from child abuse. But I also told him that he could be successful, and mostly, happy, if he worked at it. I told him that he must start to open up and talk about his feelings, because that was the only way he would start to heal. I hope that my little friend listened to me, and will put my words to good use.
When the visit was over, both my friend and his little boy cried. It was so incredibly heartbreaking.
I think you did an incredible job. I wrote my story (panic attacks) out once, for a little girl who was suffering from them. She carried the letter with her all through high school. I never knew till one day, years later, she pulled out this really worn out bit o folded paper and told me it kept her going for years. Each time she'd feel an attack coming on she'd take out my letter and read it.
ReplyDeleteYou never know what things you share will make a difference in another life, but one thing I do know - the younger you catch a problem the easier it is to heal. So your friend's little boy has a way better chance now than if everyone had ignored thids till he was an adult.
I have an adult friend who is dealing with her repressed abuse issues through art. She's thinking of starting her own support group for others to use art therapy. It's a dream at this stage, since she's a single mom (her husband left her) who has zero money.
Anyway... point being that for her drawing it out has helped a lot. We've chatted for years on how what works for one person might not work for another. I have another adult friend who releases her rage (also abuse related) through poetry. And another who prefers meditation. It's all about trying things out and finding what works.
I've seen a lot of people struggle with the fact they are empathic - that they feel so much it makes things feel HUGE and overwhelming. Autism is a prime example of people who overload on feeling/sensing too much. And look how badly that was misunderstood for centuries!