It is now December, and winter is setting in both emotionally and environmentally.  It is so cold,  dark and cloudy here in New England, and I'm starting to feel it, deep within my soul.  The winter usually brings me the blues.  This year, so far, its been an easier journey than usual.  I just hope that it remains this way.
     The holidays also affect me emotionally.  Thanksgiving was difficult this year.  I went to my husband's family's house, and even though I have done it at least,15 previous times,  I still felt very uncomfortable.  I felt that I didn't belong there.  They are nice to me, but I don't feel like I fit in.
I don't know if it's me or them, but I feel like an outsider.  Of course, it doesn't help that I don't do well, in large groups of people.  I feel overwhelmed, if I'm with more that 6 or 7 people, at a time.  We spent 3 hours there, and I felt an overwhelming urge, to return very quickly to our little home.
      This year we, are going to Maine, for Christmas to be with my Mom.  It will be just my Mom, my husband, and me.  And I am so relieved.  No crowds, no chaos.  I am so happy about it.
       The past few days, I have been very irritable.  I have lost my temper and stormed off to bed twice.  I think that I am just overwhelmed at this time of year, and hopefully, it will pass.  I am also falling asleep around 7 PM almost every night because the sun goes down so early now.  I used to sleep most of our winter's away, but I don't want to do that this year.  But I can't complain much, so far, Thank God.